An Experiment

The bathrooms in my current office building seem like some sociological experiment being conducted by local university students. There are only two in the entire building of several businesses – one is a singular toilet for women, and the other is a singular toilet for men.

The men’s toilet seat is split in half by a large crack (no posterior puns, please), and there is no functioning light. Thus, if one wishes to use that particular facility, one must conduct one’s business completely and literally in the dark on half of a toilet seat.

The women’s bathroom has functioning lights, but the toilet has been clogged for the past forty-eight hours, and there is no access to a plunger or any other means by which to unplug it. Thus, if one wishes to use the feminine facility, one must decide to add to the ever growing pile of poo.

While the men do not complain much about the broken toilet seat and lack of lights, it seems that women are similarly resigned to their situation and have decided that using the men’s bathroom must be infinitely more disgusting than turning their womanly facilities into an outhouse. Thus, as the women’s toilet is now stuffed full of a vast quantity of excrement and ten rolls of toilet paper, the men’s bathroom is now the least disgusting of the two, although it is too dark to accurately make this comparison. Perhaps this is all for the best.


4 thoughts on “An Experiment

  1. Is your office in the bowels of Guatemala? How could any non-third world country operate like this? What about the special days of women? This needs to be addressed.

    • The bowels of podunk Wisconsin are essentially the equivalent of Guatemala’s intestinal tract, and so the comparison is appropriate. I’m not certain the U.S. Constitution was ever intended to extend protections to the backwoods of rural middle America – at least it does not seem to be actively enforced.

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